When I finally left my abusive relationship I didn’t know who I was anymore. Whilst I was living in a women’s refuge one hundred and eleven miles away from home, I slowly started to rebuild my life and find out who the real me was again.
Here are four ways that really helped me:
It seems strange to think that when I left my abusive partner, there was no social media and that was only 1995. The only distractions I had were my four children when they were not sleeping, the TV and other members of the refuge. But I did find time to just sit and ask myself questions. Questions like:
- What are your strengths and weaknesses?
- What is important to you?
- What do you worry about?
This was one of my favourite things to do and still is to this day. I would offload everything from that day on to the page and add my dreams and wishes for my future. I also wrote a lot of poems whilst in the refuge.
Sometimes, when journaling, nothing would come so I would ask questions and soon enough the writing started to flow. I would ask questions like:
- Where do you see yourself in six months?
- Have you made any new friends lately?
- What is the best advice you have ever been given?
- What is the worst advice you have ever been given?
I love taking personality tests and reading the results. Straight away I can see that they are right in figuring me out. It is like I know who I am but I needed someone else to point it all out to me. I took the 16 personalities test recently and was gobsmacked at how accurate it was.
Check it out: 16personalities
TRY NEW THINGS
Stepping out of your comfort zone often can really help you to find out what sort of person you are.
For me, leaving the abuse and moving so far away from home was, “stepping way out of my comfort zone”. Each day after that I stepped out some more and slowly began to create a whole new life, start friendships that would last a lifetime, seeing new places and even starting to study for a degree in History.
I TRULY STARTED TO LIVE AGAIN
AND, SO CAN YOU
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